Fat Vampire - Books 1-6 - Johnny B. Truant

Written by Johnny B. Truant
Read by Joe Hempel
Format: M4B

Fat Vampire 1

Death Has a Whole New Appetite.
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn’t make fun of him, it’s just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a 2,000-year-old vampire.

And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it’s just Reginald’s further bad luck that he wakes to discover he’s become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created…doomed to “heal” to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

But as Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire (too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead), he discovers rare powers in himself that few vampires have…and just in time, because the Vampire Council wants him destroyed as an inferior representative of their race.

Perfect for fans of Rick Gualtieri’s Tome of Bill series or Drew Hayes’ Fred the Vampire Accountant series, Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife’s lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
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Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken

Angels and demons, myths and legends.

It’s been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his 2,000-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is deacon of the vampire nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him…or dispose of him.

But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires able to stop it.

This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have lied buried for centuries - pitting the world’s darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the second in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many bestselling series including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.
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Fat Vampire 3: All You Can Eat

Immortality has met its match.

Ever since the ring of fire, the world’s vampires have seen their mortality. They won’t live forever after all - not if the angels who created them decide to snuff them like candles.

What do the angels want? What did their command to “restore balance” truly mean? For most, the angels’ decrees mean mass murder and mass turnings…but the humans aren’t sheep, and won’t just lie down and take it forever.

As Deacon Maurice tries to maintain order with Reginald by his side, panic consumes the vampire nation. The center begins to fall apart and chaos grows like cancer. But as war between vampires and humans threatens, Reginald begins to discover strange new abilities within him: to navigate through blood history like no other vampire before him. To glamour those who can’t be glamoured. And seemingly, to stop time itself.

Fear has reached its tipping point. War is close. Reginald might hold the key to the angels’ mystery…but whatever could help him intervene just might be too late.

This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the third in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many bestselling series including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.
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Fat Vampire 4:

A New Dark Leader Has Emerged.

Following Maurice’s near-assassination and the overthrow of the American vampire council, Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki have fled to Luxembourg, where they’ve taken refuge under the protection of Karl Stromm and the EU Council.

Things in America have continued towards chaos with no end in sight - until a coup shakes the world and a new American leader arrives with promises to restore order and derail the imminent human-vampire war.

But things are not as they seem. A dangerous, genocidal faction has arisen to upset the fragile balance. The new world order in America is not what it seems. And all the while the world’s vampires face a war on two fronts: Deadly, prepared human forces on one side, and their immortal creators on the other.

This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the fourth in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many best-selling series including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.
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Fat Vampire 5:

What the New Order Seeks, Reginald Must Find.

The new vampire president and his psychotic right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace…but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil.

And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them - with plans to exterminate the planet’s current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves.

Reginald, Nikki, Maurice, and the others bunkered in at Maurice’s estate find themselves in the middle of a no-win scenario: Is it better to fight with their own kind in the vampire revolution? Or should they turn traitors - and risk extermination by the angels - in order to protect the humans?

But just as the cold war outside is about to turn hot, Reginald’s ever-expanding vampire brain reveals the existence of an artifact that could predict the outcome of the coming war…and maybe even a way to stop it. The only problem is that nobody knows where the artifact is, and when war then breaks and mass slaughter begins on both sides, it seems that time may have run out.

This book is the biggest, bloodiest, most snack-filled installment in the Fat Vampire series so far, and sets the stage for the sixth book’s epic series-ender - a conclusion so big it’ll shake the human world’s foundations.

This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the fifth in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many best-selling series including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.
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Fat Vampire 6:

The Era of Nighttime Has Begun.

Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night.

Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can’t shake his conviction that the war never really ended - that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon.

As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Rebel humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren’t afraid to use them even if it could mean the end of everything. And Reginald Baskin - always an outcast, always neglected - may be the only chance to stop it.

But as Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a hideous inevitability that even he never saw coming…and that he may be too late to prevent.

This fresh twist on the tired old undead myth is the final installment in the Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant - author of many best-selling series and titles including Invasion, The Beam, Unicorn Western, The Dream Engine, Robot Proletariat, and more.